Working on yourself is the most important thing. Psychological lesson from the cycle "Do it yourself

Work on oneself as a quality of a person is the ability to change oneself for the better, grow personally, improve oneself, develop spiritually under the guidance of a Spiritual Mentor, cultivate positive personality traits in oneself.

Once upon a time, an old Indian revealed to his grandson one vital truth. - In every person there is a struggle, very similar to the struggle of two wolves. One wolf represents Evil - envy, jealousy, regret, selfishness, ambition, lies ... The other wolf represents Good - peace, love, hope, truth, kindness, loyalty ... The little Indian, touched to the core by his grandfather's words, thought for a few moments, and then he asked: - Which wolf wins at the end? The old Indian smiled barely perceptibly and replied: - Always wins that Wolf, who do you feed.

Work on oneself is carried out in order to become a noble, decent and reasonable person.

In all spiritual traditions, work on oneself involves the development of the mind in the context: do not lie, do not get angry, develop selflessness and generosity in yourself, the ability to forgive, be faithful, decent and noble, maintain purity of mind and body, do not harbor evil towards anyone, be simple and open, learn to take care of everyone - relatives, friends, elders, juniors and subordinates.

People are under the influence of three energies: goodness, passion and ignorance. Someone is under the influence of the energy of goodness, someone is enslaved by the energy of passion, someone is enslaved by the energy of ignorance. Being in the material world, one inevitably falls under the influence of one of the three energies. If a person naively believes that he is free, then he is already enslaved by this illusion.

Psychologist Oleg Torsunov writes: “Everything in this world consists of three energies - goodness, passion and ignorance. And, if a person has decided which concept of happiness he has chosen, he has signed a law by which he will have to live, whether he wants it or not.

In one person there can be, for example, 10% goodness, 70% passion and 20% ignorance. This is a man of passion. Or: a person is 80% under the influence of the energy of ignorance and 20% of passion. This is a man of ignorance. If goodness prevails in a person, and the energy of passion occupies an insignificant place, this is a person in goodness.

Work on oneself - carefully and carefully cultivate goodness in oneself, not water passion and ruthlessly uproot one's own ignorance. Work on oneself is to strive to ensure that the palm among the three energies unconditionally belongs to goodness, while goodness has an offensive nature, that is, it shows a constant tendency to increase its share in a person.

Tell me, Teacher, why, despite the fact that I have been working on myself for so long, improving myself, going to God and ascending to spiritual spheres, my life does not change from this? the student asked. - Have you thrown off the burden of resentment, anger, pride, irritation, claims, prejudices and superstitions? And have you replaced them with love, forgiveness, compassion, patience and humility - qualities that inspire the soul? - Not. - Then why did you get the idea that your work on yourself is correct, that you are going to God? At best, you stand still. With such a burden as yours, you will not only not reach God and not only will you not crawl to him, you simply will not budge in his direction, and it is even possible that you will slide down under such a weight.

Work on oneself is aimed at conquering the heights of human spirituality. This is the ascent, the vertical of human existence. This is the kind of work that allows you to become a holistic, harmonious and mature person.

The one who works on himself, improves himself, is pleasing to the universe. Man is a rational form of existence. The one who does not develop his mind signs the verdict for himself: “There is no reason to be in human body". We come into this world to work on ourselves, to improve ourselves, to find our optimal path to God.

In every ordinary person, all three energies are present in some proportion. Work on oneself consists in the growth of goodness by reducing the role of the energies of passion, and, moreover, ignorance. Philosopher V.R. Tushkin writes: "Three qualities (goodness, passion or ignorance), mixing with each other to varying degrees, give a certain type of person."

In a word, goodness, passion, and ignorance can simultaneously intertwine in the most intricate way in one person. A person striving for personal growth takes care of increasing the share of goodness and, accordingly, reducing the share of passion in the system of qualities of his personality. He fights ignorance in the most irreconcilable way.

Svetlana Tereshkina, in the context of these thoughts, states: “The sooner you understand the difference in your energies, the faster you move out of the state of passion (when you already apply spiritual laws, but at the same time your goals remain the same,” I will work on myself so that this goat became silk and brought me a lot of money") into a state of goodness (this is where miracles happen!!! Husbands stop drinking, create empires, make a marriage proposal), the faster you clean your heart, the faster you think about the purity of your thoughts and start looking at yourself and working on yourself for YOURSELF, and not for others, the faster you will have REAL results.

Goodness is the ability to find the taste of happiness in selfless activity, the performance of pious deeds and self-realization; work with love, realizing your life purpose.

In the world of self-interest and violence, goodness as one of the energies of human existence is rarely encountered. Very few people are now living in goodness. They are considered weirdos. For people who are under the influence of the energy of passion and ignorance, the taste of happiness of blissful people is sealed with seven seals. He doesn't understand them. The interests of the soul or our true ego understands, but the passionate mind and insatiable feelings, of course, do not.

What we do not know does not exist for us. Happiness in goodness is a qualitatively different level. Theoretically, a person in passion can understand what is the taste of happiness of a person who is under the influence of the energy of goodness. An ignorant person will say: - Blissful? Not blissful, but silly, not of this world, fool - chok - chok.

The concept of happiness in goodness is: “I want to serve the truth. I want to serve God. I want everyone around me to be happy. And only if I behave in this way, let happiness come to me as a reward. I don't want happiness for myself. I just want to serve this world, these people. My goal is to bring happiness to people. I believe that if I do this, a higher power will protect me from injustice. And if, for example, I suffer, then this is how it should be. This is the justice that I must accept.

A man in passion is a slave of selfishness and self-interest. He lives for himself. Unselfishness is incomprehensible to him. He sees happiness in hoarding, in the delight of his senses and mind with pleasures. Unlike a person in ignorance, a person in passion does not go into open confrontation with others and the law, but his relationship with people cannot be called harmonious. Selfishness causes confrontation, competition, confrontation. In a word, a person cannot be in harmony with himself and with the outside world. Psychologist Oleg Torsunov states: “A man in passion lives like a slave of his loved ones, his relatives, his work, he is enslaved. A person in ignorance understands this and says: - You are all slaves, workaholics, you just need to live easier. You have to take what you need and that's it, and not look at the laws. If you want money - rob, operate on the black market. Make yourself a profitable business, take money easily, do not strain. If you want to have sex - go, shoot whoever you want, have sex. If you want to do something, if you want to deal with it, go punch him in the face, figure it out, they have their own jargon, mat. Mat means the influence of the power of ignorance...

In other words, ignorance is a force that forces a person to degrade.

As a child, Ivanov was terribly afraid of injections. When he grew up, he decided that he would work on himself in order to get rid of school fear. And what? He not only stopped being afraid of injections, but now he can no longer live without them.

A person in passion is enslaved by the illusion that happiness is always in the future, that it can be achieved by solving one's material problems. So the whole life passes in the realization of this illusion. In the end, disappointment comes from the fact that you allowed yourself to be enslaved by temporary things and missed what is permanent, what goes with you into new incarnations - a developed mind, positive qualities of a person, achieved personal potential, that is, what he managed to achieve in spiritual work above oneself.

Petr Kovalev 2016

The difference seems small, in fact, these are two fundamentally different approaches: to correct oneself (defective), or to improve oneself (qualitative).

It is quite possible to work on yourself, develop yourself on your own, relying on your own strengths. This is how Mikhail (Mikhailo) Lomonosov, Alexander Suvorov, Napoleon Bonaparte, Benjamin Franklin, Abraham Lincoln and many, many other famous people who left a big mark on the history of their country worked in their time. They did it without any outside help - and they succeeded! So it might work for you too. Another thing is that today it is faster and more efficient to work on yourself with the help of more experienced people: teachers, educators, psychologists.

From life kick - to lifestyle

As a rule, people begin to work on themselves because life gave a kick and a specific, very important task appeared. Not just a whim arose "Here, I will work on myself!" - it passes quickly, and when something became very necessary in life, when a real need arose. However, life kicks many, and not everyone goes on a beautiful flight. It is also required - a head on your shoulders, an understanding that whining and talking about your problems is futile, that only you yourself will pull yourself out. You yourself. Okay. Life pushed, you made the right conclusions and took care of yourself. How long can you hold out? This is the main question, and your the main task- make it so that you like working on yourself. If you understand that you are succeeding, that you have results and it is worth it, you will move on. Your task is to make work on yourself a habit and a way of life, so that it would be simply strange for you to live differently, because you are the one who is always in development, and wallowing and feeling sorry for yourself is no longer you!

Starting with goal setting

The desire to work on oneself most often begins with the fact that a person is faced with certain problems, but dealing with their own problems is a dead end path. It is easiest for people to see their problems - what bothers them and what hinders them. You can deal with your problems for a long time, usually it is unproductive. In order to move forward effectively, another thing is important - it is important to learn how to correctly set goals. The first thing that will help you is to describe in the most lively and free way everything that you dream about, that you want to receive in this life. Recorded? Are you happy? And now there is work to be done - you need to turn your desires into goals. Desires and goals are different things, not everyone knows how to set goals correctly. We remind you of the basic requirements: goals must be formulated positively, goals must be specific, goals must be written down. Yes, still - the goals must be adequate ...

Pulling up resources

Whatever wonderful goals you have, it is useful to remember that no one will bring you anything on a silver platter, you need to achieve everything or organize it yourself. It is wrong to rely only on your own strength, it is reasonable to use the help of those who can and want to help you, but even this help and support is your concern. Everything is done by people, and you will have it when you have necessary qualities and abilities as you become a person worthy of your goals. Therefore, start with yourself: take a piece of paper and describe yourself: in the left column list all your problems and shortcomings, in the right column - your strengths and virtues, in the middle column write down everything that is just your features ...

We draw up a work plan

In the work plan, you should have: areas of work, stages of work and specifics - when, where and how. And who will help you with this.

Work!

It's important to start. In order not to get stuck in plans and dreams, you need to quickly move on to business. There are observations - if you have conceived something and within 48 hours have moved to action, to implementation - your plans are worth something. If you have thought about it, but you put it off and haven’t started doing anything, your plans will never come true. So, hurry up to take the first step, to carry out at least some, but concrete business. Cm.

Support in working on yourself

It is not easy for one to move forward, and if possible, it is better to work on oneself with someone, it is good if in a group of like-minded people, and under the guidance of a master. The master will help to more accurately determine the direction, suggest effective techniques and methods, and provide high-quality feedback, will help you not to forget your wonderful intentions, will create the necessary motivation.

If you find out who and where is doing what interests you, be sure to come and get to know these people.

Effective ways to work on yourself

A variety of techniques can help in working on oneself: a detailed presentation of the beginning, the presence of instructions or a sample, speech inserts ...

Typical difficulties in self-development

Until you have learned to work on yourself, you may experience a variety of difficulties. “It doesn’t work right away, the new is scary. It seems that I’ve already got used to the new, but I lost my way and returned to the old course ...” What to do with it -

And we remember what Churchill wrote: "Victories are not final, failures are not fatal, only the courage to continue matters!"

Everyone has ups and downs in life, and often we blame others, fate for our failures, but we can not see our shortcomings point-blank. In order to change something in the world around you, you need to start, first of all, with yourself.

One day you will ask yourself the question - “where to start working on yourself?”. Self-improvement is a delicate matter, it must be approached very competently so that at one moment there is no desire to quit everything.

The wheel of life - as a strong motivation on the path of self-improvement

If you do not know where to start self-development how to choose the right path for yourself, first you need to understand where you are in it. The Wheel of Life is a system that helps you analyze your level of success.

To do this, you need to draw a circle, divide it into 8 sectors:

career and business. Do you enjoy your work?

- finance. Are you satisfied with your salary? Do you have enough funds for financial independence?

friends and environment. Does the environment help you develop? What do you get from communicating with friends?

- family and love. Is there harmony in your relationships with loved ones?

— health and sports. How strong is your health? Would you like to make your body attractive and get rid of excess weight?

- entertainment and recreation. Do you properly organize your vacation in order not only to recharge your batteries, but also to get something useful for yourself?

- education and personal growth. What knowledge have you acquired to develop and improve yourself?

- the brightness of life. Are you satisfied with your life? Does it have enough bright, memorable moments?

Each sector is yours life value, which is necessary in order to feel the happiest. In this way, you will put things in order in your goals and you will better understand what you need to strive for. Also, do not forget to write what exactly in each sector you lack for complete happiness.

Each sector must be evaluated on a 10-point system. You must be as honest with yourself as possible. No need to look for excuses for your saggy tummy or a small salary. Just finally admit to yourself that everything is bad in these areas and you need to do something about it.

After that, connect the points on the scale with a line. If the figure obtained in the center resembles a circle, then you can only be congratulated. You are in complete harmony with yourself and with the world around you.

If you get a crooked figure, you can see which sector you need to work on in order to achieve harmony and happiness. In addition, by putting in order one sector, you can positively affect other parts.

After analyzing each sector, you must set yourself global goals that you need to break down into several small ones and already confidently strive for them. In addition, the goal should be achievable, so be realistic and do not try to become slim like Angelina Jolie and find yourself a prince in the person of Brad Pitt.

Get yourself a diary and write down in it what you have achieved, every small victory. For example, you have given up unhealthy but delicious food. Praise yourself for this.

A positive outlook on the future is half the battle

With self-development of personality cannot be achieved without a positive outlook on the future. If you keep thinking that you will not achieve anything, that there are no results, thoughts will swarm about quitting everything, you will never achieve anything.

You should meet every day with a smile, rejoice at even the smallest victories, see the positive in everything, notice changes in yourself.

Of course, thoughts alone are not enough for a person's self-development. Actions are important. At first, 30 minutes a day is enough - to read a book, to learn something. You can even just not sit in the evening in social networks or not to watch TV, and this will already be a victory and the first steps on the way self-improvement.

Literature for self-improvement

Books for self-development are another step towards improving your personality. There are many primary sources, like the Bible or books on the teachings of the Tao, but many will not understand them.

Today there are a lot books for self-development. Here is a list of some of them:

1. Les Hewitt, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen "A Whole Life". Learn to set realistic goals that are easy to achieve. You will be able to correctly prioritize;
2. Dan Waldschmidt "Be best version myself". This book can drastically change your life. It tells how ordinary people become outstanding;
3. M. J. Ryan "This year I ..." This book will be useful to everyone, as it helps to change habits, fulfill the promises made to oneself, and change one's life for the better;
4. Brian Tracy Get out of your comfort zone. Worldwide recognized as the #1 book on self-development. You will be able to step out of your comfort zone in order to achieve maximum goals;
5. Kelly McGonigal Willpower. How to develop and strengthen? The author believes that willpower is like a muscle that needs to be pumped and strengthened.

All books have one main point- self-development never ends. You can work all your life on the formation of your personality, make your life bright and unforgettable. Each of us strives to be better, but this quality must be used wisely.

A few rules for self-development

Each person lives in their own comfort zone, and often we are afraid of something new and unknown, which is why it is so difficult, and sometimes scary, to change our lives. The process of self-development must be turned into a habit so that you never leave this path.

How to start self-development? Plan Here are some simple steps you can take to build this habit:

- life depends directly on our desires and actions. There is nothing impossible in it. Never tell yourself that something is impossible to do, just think about what it takes to make it achievable;

- way to main goal break it down into a few small ones that are easy to reach. Once this becomes a habit, you can set more goals for yourself;

In the evening, think about everything that happened to you during the day. Write down your successes and failures. If you did something wrong or didn’t work out for you, think about what would have changed if you had acted differently.

Do not forget that self-improvement is a difficult path, but very interesting. If you once decided to change your life, stick to this thought always, and believe that the result will meet all expectations. Always look at life, successes and failures with a positive, and then you will definitely succeed.

Very often we try to control everything and change the world around us, as it is beneficial for us. But alas, this task for one person is simply unbearable. We forget that in order for the world around us to become completely different, it is necessary to radically change ourselves, and the process of self-improvement will help in this. Work on yourself- this is what should be given special attention.

Where to begin?

Experts distinguish 4 stages of this method, which will help a person understand himself, understand where to start his changes and what actions need to be taken for this.

1 Introspection

This stage of self-improvement is the most important. It is necessary to honestly recognize and highlight all your advantages and disadvantages. You can take a blank sheet of paper, divide it into two columns, write down your observations, or remember those moments that prevent you from developing and living the way you want. For example:

• troubles or problems;
• Bad deeds that haunt you;
• tormenting grievances;
• Tipping points.

Such an analysis can be very emotional and painful, but the more honestly you do it, the better for you. You will be able to see the real picture and understand what needs to be changed in yourself in order to move forward and.

It is difficult to imagine an occupation more difficult than working on oneself. But the effect of it is grandiose. Not many people believe that this task can be completed. There are even fewer people who are ready to take on themselves, and even without outside help, and even more so.

Experiment: change or die

Ian Deutschman, in the article "Change or Die", spoke about the results of a study of a group of people who were faced with the task of giving up certain habits under the threat of death.

Even this strong stimulus only worked for 10 percent of patients. Over the course of a year, nine out of ten test subjects, despite killing themselves, returned to their usual lifestyle.

This experiment provides an opportunity to appreciate how strong the power of habit is, and how difficult it is to resist even when making vital decisions.

It is difficult to imagine a higher degree of motivation than in the study described. If the threat of death does not force people to change, in a safe situation they are even less inclined to give up habits.